Today is the 4th. I'm so glad Jim is off work today and tomorrow. We will be getting together with the relatives at his brother's house later this afternoon. I was really hoping to see our niece's new baby, but they aren't coming. :-(. Did I happen to ever mention that I kinda like babies? I'm also bummed that Cory (my 17 year old son) has to work and will miss out on the festivities and that Michael (my 20 year old) won't be coming home either. This will be the first family reunion where we haven't all been there. These are Jim's siblings and their families. The funny thing is they all have grandchildren, and here we are now having a baby.
My friend who wants children and is only a few years younger than I am, has been trying for the entire 7 years they've been married, is having a hard time with my pregnancy. She says she's happy for us but is mad that it's me and not her. I can understand how someone would feel that way. I mean I do already have 5 and we weren't trying to have another, so why should I get one so easily? That's a tough one to respond to. I guess I just need to accept her feelings but not take on the guilt that tries to jump on me because something I did is causing my friend pain. I'm not usually a super emotional person (except sometimes right before that time of the month) but when I'm pregnant it's like everything is magnified. I'm just more physically and emotionally sensitive.
I've just kinda been sitting around the last three days, so now I feel really off track. My wonderful hubby cleaned up our really gross basement and laundry room the other night. It was a few hours of some really hard work. I'm so thankful he did it cuz it SOOOOO needed to be done, but I just couldn't handle it. I wanna get back into a routine, but maybe a better one than before, and start working on stuff. But sometimes when life throws me a curve ball and there are times when I get off track, then when I want to get back in the swing of life, I have this "deer caught in the headlights" syndrome where I don't know where to start or how much to tackle at once when so many things seem urgent and yet I don't wanna leave out the less immediately urgent but still important stuff. The challenge is there are so many facets of life: taking care of my family(making sure kids are clean, fed, behaving, having school ----I homeschool my 3 youngest, their health, clean clothes, having fun with them, teaching them skills, spending time with them, being available to help or listen to them), being a wife (making meals, spending time with Jim, making sure we have sex more often than once a millenium, being supportive of him emotionally, doing things to show him I love and respect him, working on goals together, looking as attractive as possible for him, etc), the house (getting it clean, repaired, organized, and pretty and then maintaining all that), laundry, time with the Lord in prayer, reading and studying scripture, church, my own spiritual growth, my kids' spiritual growth, effectively leading in my position as nursery coordinator at church and doing the work involved with that, taking care of my health and appearance, exercise, keeping my mind/intellect stimulated (don't wanna lose what little brains I have left), having time to rest/relax, having time for fun, self improvement, marriage growth, parenting growth, maintaining relationships with friends and relatives as well as making new ones, and getting the stupid library books back on time, and on and on. I'm sure there's more stuff but basically , living all of life with purpose in every area. So where do I start? That's the million dollar question. If anyone has any ideas, resources to recommend, whatever, please share. I need something very concrete, step by step, like assignments or something.
Well, for now, I will start by having some cappuccino and a donut. Yes, I KNOW that's not the greatest choice, but one won't hurt me or the baby. Don't worry, this won't be my usual breakfast. So nobody needs to cyber yell at me. I don't need a visit from the pregnancy police. lol!
I hope anyone reading here has a wonderful, blessed, fun filled 4th!
Annette
No comments:
Post a Comment